Sunday, August 16, 2009


Lately, I've found myself reaching more and more for my magnifying glass. I've tried those drugstore glasses with the graduations of magnification but they don't help a bit. I know it's time for new glasses, possibly - gasp! - reading glasses but money is short and glasses are expensive.

This morning the kitchen drain was a bit sluggish. I hauled the bottle of Drano out from under the sink and looked at the directions. Who in the world do they think can see that tiny print? The letters crawled across the label like ants in grass. I tipped the bottle toward the light. I squinted. I held the bottle close, then far away. Finally I relented and reached for the magnifying glass. The ants stopped moving and formed letters that spelled, "Allow to work for 15 minutes then flush with hot water." Oh.

Later J brought over the Sunday paper. The headlines blared up and down the page so I know that a reporter went skydiving and lived to tell about it, there's a new police chief one town over and, look at this! a new eye wear designer has replaced a nationwide eyeglass chain at the local mall. Well, good. Now I can't afford designer frames just as much as I couldn't afford the chain store variety.

Who needs glasses anyhow? I use my magnifying glass for all sorts of things. It makes the eye of a needle look like a yawning chasm, shows me the number of ibuprofen I can safely swallow at any given time, illuminates the fine print on credit card contracts, and tells me things I don't want to know about what's in my food. I know eventually I will have to rob Peter to pay the eye doctor but until then my trusty magnifier will keep me in the know.


Diane said...

My problem is slightly different... I'm nearsighted and have worn glasses since I was about 10. Even though they are to help me see far away, I've always been able to read with them on... until recently. I noticed it first in a restaurant, when I realized I couldn't read the menu. Now I have to take my glasses OFF in order to read. I simply cannot see anything close up if I have them on. When I mentioned it to the eye doc at my last check-up, he said, "You're what... about 41?" Apparently it's a common thing for near-sighted people... when they get Sigh. I asked if it meant my eyes were getting better. Nope. That's not it. Sigh.

Reya Mellicker said...

Good glasses are as crucial as good shoes, good sleep and good food. Do not hesitate - go slap all your money down on the counter at the eye doctor.

I wear tri-focals for which I pay about $800 per pair. Whew!! But -- I can SEE!! Everything: far away, mid-range and up close.

Do it. You'll never regret it.

Pam said...

Haha! Made me laugh because I know just what you mean!!

Molly said...

It is indeed insane how small they write the important information, and how large the inane stuff!

Ruth D~ said...

I have taken to using drug store reading glasses... but lately have to supplement with a magnifying glass anyway. Sigh!

Meggie said...

Firstly they print the damn instructions for anything, in such small mean letters... then they add to the insult by making containers impossible to open !
Always assuming you managed to read the instructions.
I had never thought life would become such an obstacle course!

Anonymous said...

I wear glasses also but as 'Meggie' previously mentioned, when it comes to tiny printing such as that on over-the-counter medications or sometimes user manuals - out comes my trusty magnifying glass. Looks pretty much just like yours.

For other more personal occasions such as a problem on my face I need to address, I have a pair of "hands-free" reading glasses that make my eyes look like a couple of pool balls. They must be at least +50 power. After using them I feel as though I need to go lie down somewhere for a while. :)

Ruth D~ said...

LOL... my husband has taken to keeping a magnifying glass on his desk. I haven't told him how weird he looks peering into it, because... I've borrowed it now and then. :>)