Thursday, February 12, 2009


The phone rings the other evening. “How’re things?” asks J. When she asks me, I know just which things she’s referring to—the aches, pains, missteps, forgetfulness, pratfalls, and mishaps that come with our age territory. So I hedge my answer. “Good,” I say, “and you?”

“Well,” she says, “I’ve had a problem with dry eyes lately so I got some artificial tears. The other morning I stumbled into the bathroom, took the bottle from the medicine cabinet, tipped it up and squeezed. Nothing came out so I squeezed harder. Still nothing. By now I’m shaking the bottle and squishing it so hard my fingers hurt and all I get is a teensy drop. ‘It can’t be empty already,’ I say to myself and try squeezing some into the other eye. I’m practically strangling the bottle and all that comes out is a miniscule amount.”

She is laughing so I figure it’s okay if I laugh, too. “So, did you go out and buy more?” I ask.

“No. (Long pause.) I took the cap off the bottle. I was squeezing that sucker so hard I actually forced some liquid out with the cap on! Of course, when I did take the cap off, the stuff squirted all over the place.”

“Oh, by the way,” I say in an effort to take her mind off the hoot I just let out. “You know the other day you asked if I’d ever left my purse anywhere and didn't notice?” (Of course, she’d just done that very thing and called to warn me.)

She started to chuckle again. “Where’d you leave yours?”

“At the doctor’s office. And the very next day at a friend’s house.”

“You left it somewhere two days in a row?” J laughed.

“I did. And when I returned to the doctor’s office to get it, the woman behind the window laughed and said, ‘Don’t feel bad, dear. You aren’t the only one.’ There lined up on her counter were three black purses waiting for their owners to realize they were missing.

“ ‘What, are we all the same age?’ I asked. She just nodded.”



photo credit: erstories.net/.../2008/ 07/brochure_eye_drop.jp

9 comments:

Pam said...

Today I returned my mother's black purse to her from where she left it in my car. Yesterday she had driven in her car to meet me at a half-way point car park.. We then proceeded to go shopping, further away, in MY car. After the shopping, driving her back to the half-way point car park, I said "Where's your car?" "Over there" she said pointing. "Where's yours?"... "Um, Mum," I said "We're IN it".

Pauline said...

LOL! I've had those very same DUH moments! I remember once needing to have the oil changed in my car. A friend offered to accompany me to the garage. "Shall we take my car our yours?" I asked him. He gave me the strangest look and for a minute I couldn't figure out why!

Deedee said...

Mmm. Isn't aging wonderful? Enjoyed this post a lot!

meggie said...

I need those drops for my eyes. I haven't left the top on- yet!

ArtSparker said...

II'm taking a technical graphics course and find I can't remember what I learned in class the following day. Also inattention while driving has led to two traffic tickets for not stopping when turning and a stop sign.

hebba said...

came across your blog thru Diane. LOVE IT! (and we both have a mysterious "J" with whom we share adventures!)

red dirt mule said...

i've been missing out on this complete OTHER SIDE OF YOU! which actually is no stranger. just you sharing more of that smirking good humor that flits around your other blog.

you know, Pauline. don't be offended. but as i met my lover via blogging, i thought to myself today: if i could choose any woman on the blogs to be my partner, it'd be Pauline.

you're really cute. and you wouldn't let me whine.

;)
xoxo
rdm

Ruth D~ said...

LOL. Big sigh of relief. Confusion loves company.

I once tested my cell phone to make sure the ring tone was on. When I pushed the test tone and it rang . . . I answered!

Hello? Hello? Hello?!

Just an instinctive response to the ring I'd generated, but I was glad my husband wasn't there to see yet another example of my mid-life ooops!

Flea said...

That is soooooo funneeeee. ;-))